“For you are my hiding place; you protect me from trouble. You surround me with songs of victory.”
Oh there it is. That little thought. That little worry that creeps in first thing in the morning. I can wake up feeling rested and ready to go and suddenly I am absolutely paralyzed by the incredible list that racks my brain- and I’m not just talking about a to-do list here. It could be a perception that I am trying to maintain, a relationship that I am working too hard to control, or a teeny tiny fleeting thought turned elephant… no, monster…wait, I mean dragon, fire-breathing villain that fills up an entire football stadium kind of fear. UGH.
To be completely honest: I have had many a day recently where I am in shock about how much of a total mess that I am. Seriously. The lies, worries, and fixations that I tend to catch myself in seem utterly ridiculous approximately 2 hours after this thought is the absolute ELEPHANT of my brain.
Letting go of control has always been a struggle for me. Control, control, control. You are my arch enemy. This little nemesis has chosen to manifest itself in all sorts of forms over the years and driven me absolutely mad. In the most general of ways, control makes me want to plan out every second of every day for myself AND for others. Exactly. How. I. Want. It.
Sounds neat, right?
Over the years, I have conquered incredible difficulty through the Lord’s incredible grace and strength. And through this grace He has brought more peace, joy, and freedom to my life than ever imagined. And on this earth, this is a constant, never-ending cycle. We are always 100% dependent on Him. And this is a good truth!
I have learned of how constant He is. And in my letting go of control I give Him the GLORY. His glory is a beautiful thing. And it can only be seen when we choose to release our own fears and expectations and trust in the promises that are laid before us in scripture. “Do not be anxious about anything…” (Philippians 4:6) says the Lord! Anything. No exceptions here. He is so good and wants good things for His children for our good and His glory. This is incredible, peace-bringing news!
Why do I fret and pace and FREAK about both the big and the small? I once read this quote by Charles Spurgeon that has resonated more with me now than ever:
He knows too that God is always wise, and, knowing this, he is confident that there can be no accidents, no mistakes; that nothing can occur which ought not to arise. He can say, “If I should lose all I have, it is better that I should lose than have, if God so wills: the worst calamity is the wisest and the kindest thing that could befall to me if God ordains it. ” (C. Spurgeon)
I am tired of the days where the beauty around me is blinded by looking inward instead of running into the arms of my Good Father who literally begs for me to give my burdens to Him. It is incredibly more exhausting to be inside my own head than to trust, release, LET GO! So all of those “what ifs”, all of those outcomes, possibilities that I try to “prepare” myself for all literally meaningless. Why?
Jesus is the outcome. His grace has covered us so much and our sins and shame is so far gone that He has chosen, in His great love, to take away every single stronghold that weighs us down if we choose to trust Him and accept the Gospel as the anthem and covering of our lives.
Lord, yours is the victory. Yours alone. I cast my fears and anxious thoughts on you. I give you control- your ways and works are wonderful. Your love does not bring a troubled mind or heart. Your love is pure and whole and your desire is to bring beauty out of my brokenness. Your steadfast love endures forever.