I have gone back and forth about whether or not I should start writing again. Honestly, the majority of my writing has consisted of gibberish that I’ve kept haphazardly stored in the “notes” section of my Iphone. Notes that are usually made when on a walk or at a stoplight or when I let myself actually think rather than choosing to distract my often anxious mind.
Sometimes I look back at my little notes and am truly shocked by the little bits of truth that come out in writing as if it was written by someone else. As if some stranger saw my frazzled self, hacked my phone and dropped a bomb of wisdom hoping that I would see it later. But shortly after I realize that I indeed did write something worth reading again. Mostly for myself, but maybe, just maybe, for someone else too.
For me, writing is less about eloquence and elaborate stories and more learning about who I am and who God is through the small things. You see, I am a very impatient person and my thoughts tend to be more commercial like than movie like. I’ve tried for years to be better at sitting still or pondering more and have been relatively unsuccessful and you know what…that’s okay!
Me beginning to write again is a leap of faith. A brave step in the right direction. To be honest, this past year or so has mostly been filled with me making excuses for why I don’t want to do the things I used to love, feeling sorry for myself, and feeling pretty dang confused 95% of the time. It has been a year of drastic change for me: I got married, moved to a brand new city, started a brand new job, started my own business, and have not reflected on or written down much of anything in the process.
Truthfully, I let myself get trampled by all the change and all the lies I was told in the process over and over. I would come up for a few breaths every now and again and have little bits of clarity (most of which were written about in that “notes” section I mentioned earlier), but honestly, have never felt like any of these words are worth sharing with anyone else, or really even with myself.
Several weeks ago, I felt things starting to soften a bit and could feel the Lord graciously and gently calling me to write again about the small, savored moments where I see Him working in my life. You see, I’ve spent the past year clawing and fighting to know answers that are really not mine to know. Answers about my past and future that have little to do with my calling and my identity in Christ. So now I choose to share and write about the little ways in which I see living and active Hope Divine in the day-to-day struggles of this life.
So if you would like to follow along with me on The Savored Life, I plan to share how Jesus is leading me in the small things, along with those little joys that we all love to share and read about (a recipe, fun product, life hack, etc.).
As I’m finishing this post, I really can’t believe I’m doing this again. Six months ago I felt like I would never write or post anything ever again so the fact that you’re reading this and it is actually posted is a huge testimony of the Lord’s grace and ability to roll away dark clouds that seem immovable. He is a good, good Father whose reckless love does not relent. Thanks for your support, friends.